Letter to Flat 8a Occupant

Dear occupant of flat 8a,

I hope this letter met you in health and wealth

This is coming from the landlord

 We know you are a good person because my team of dependable spies said so

Your files on generosity and mild mannered, and temperance has just been traferred to us 2days ago

Our dependable spiea heard you on the phone talking about bringing in  bags of rice and other edible the other day

To say the truth we were excited as you are , we are good citizen of the flat you are about to occupy

Let me give you a preamble of the of the first occupant of this apartment

We were excited just like now when the first occupant first came in, in fact we went a great a length to exterminate and imprison the rogues one among us

The first week was bliss for us until he start disturbing us we peaceful lot

He wouldn’t leave food for us in the kitchen; does he want us to starve?

If grain of rice fell off his plate, he would pick it up, dust it and down his stomach it went, for a good measure, we were furious

And what shall I say about the bits of biscuits he will pick up and repeat the same as the rice grain – he never anything edible on the floor

For good 3 weeks he did rob us of our right even if he fails to understand that we were the first occupants of the apartment. 

Now we wait whether he will change, but no he didn’t and so we wage a war

He was such a greedy and stingy person and we decides to teach him a lesson

Employing and redeploying the rogues among us to unleash mayhem

We studied where he kept important files and did what we are expert at doing with a smile

He was crying when he saw what we did to his original school certificates, birth certificate, insurance and car permits

We also sent some of our expert to go sharpen their teeth – the tool they use to deflate the four tyres of his Peugeot 504

I remembered he did came in the second day, dropping different squared minted cookies around the house

He forgot that our grandmother trained us well; we refuse the bribery until we discovered it was a poison when it killed  the irreplaceable left lieutenant who was too curious to know

A full scale war we launch, attacking everything edible in sight, offices clothes and his favorite plastic cup saw our handiworks and humble parting signature

Only to come in the next day setting about eight trap at every corner of the room.

When 2days old rattie saw it, he shout in horror, Eight traps!

This guy must be a ww2 veteran we conclude

He didn’t know our forefathers were ww1&2 veterans too

During watch hour, we sent our expert trap diffusers who expertly remove the trap content 

making sure the unhooking trap sound is made at several interval during the night thereby rendering him sleepless
In two days, he packs out of the apartment. It was a day of joyous celebration for us

I hope you will respect yourself with this story we had narrated to you

Our airfield marshal recently laid some complain about you contaminating the air with poisonous gas thereby disturbing their ministry, please be careful 

As they say, respect is reciprocal so shall we both live as family in peace, health and vitality if you keep your part of the bargain

Once gain we welcome you to flat number 18a



The Chief Landlord of the Original Occupants of flats 18a

Advise the occupant what he should do? Stay or leave?


5 thoughts on “Letter to Flat 8a Occupant

    1. Now if I am the one that receive such letter. I’m going to vacate the premises asap.
      Thanks for the comment,

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s