Dear occupant of flat 8a,
I hope this letter met you in health and wealth
This is coming from the landlord
We know you are a good person because my team of dependable spies said so
Your files on generosity and mild mannered, and temperance has just been traferred to us 2days ago
Our dependable spiea heard you on the phone talking about bringing in bags of rice and other edible the other day
To say the truth we were excited as you are , we are good citizen of the flat you are about to occupy
Let me give you a preamble of the of the first occupant of this apartment
We were excited just like now when the first occupant first came in, in fact we went a great a length to exterminate and imprison the rogues one among us
The first week was bliss for us until he start disturbing us we peaceful lot
He wouldn’t leave food for us in the kitchen; does he want us to starve?
If grain of rice fell off his plate, he would pick it up, dust it and down his stomach it went, for a good measure, we were furious
And what shall I say about the bits of biscuits he will pick up and repeat the same as the rice grain – he never anything edible on the floor
For good 3 weeks he did rob us of our right even if he fails to understand that we were the first occupants of the apartment.
Now we wait whether he will change, but no he didn’t and so we wage a war
He was such a greedy and stingy person and we decides to teach him a lesson
Employing and redeploying the rogues among us to unleash mayhem
We studied where he kept important files and did what we are expert at doing with a smile
He was crying when he saw what we did to his original school certificates, birth certificate, insurance and car permits
We also sent some of our expert to go sharpen their teeth – the tool they use to deflate the four tyres of his Peugeot 504
I remembered he did came in the second day, dropping different squared minted cookies around the house
He forgot that our grandmother trained us well; we refuse the bribery until we discovered it was a poison when it killed the irreplaceable left lieutenant who was too curious to know
A full scale war we launch, attacking everything edible in sight, offices clothes and his favorite plastic cup saw our handiworks and humble parting signature
Only to come in the next day setting about eight trap at every corner of the room.
When 2days old rattie saw it, he shout in horror, Eight traps!
This guy must be a ww2 veteran we conclude
He didn’t know our forefathers were ww1&2 veterans too
During watch hour, we sent our expert trap diffusers who expertly remove the trap content
making sure the unhooking trap sound is made at several interval during the night thereby rendering him sleepless
In two days, he packs out of the apartment. It was a day of joyous celebration for us
I hope you will respect yourself with this story we had narrated to you
Our airfield marshal recently laid some complain about you contaminating the air with poisonous gas thereby disturbing their ministry, please be careful
As they say, respect is reciprocal so shall we both live as family in peace, health and vitality if you keep your part of the bargain
Once gain we welcome you to flat number 18a
The Chief Landlord of the Original Occupants of flats 18a
Advise the occupant what he should do? Stay or leave?