#Writing · Relationship

Why are you in Love?

Hi Friends,

I hope you had a lovely week.

Ever wondered why most of us fall in love so easily, even when we know the feeling is not right? You know deep within you that this person you claimed to be in love with is just not it, yet you go ahead and let yourself fall completely and sometimes yakata.

People  use the term “love” loosely although I suppose it is subjective….but do people catch feelings faster in such a way that would make Usain Bolt cover his face in shame?

Individuals fall in love each and every day; however, when a couple goes entirely gaga over one another, what is happening in their brains? Was it love? Is it  simply a methodical and calculative approach to deplete the other person in whatever way possible before zooming off like a speeding power bike? Pre-nuptial arrangement just kind of rub on me somehow. it doesnt look right to me. I am entitled to my opinion anyway

People have various reasons and intentions for falling in love, crazy reasons  and ridiculous intentions even.  While it is true that some things are much more spontaneous than planned but does that means people can fall in love at the speed of light?

The most common battle we ought as a person  is the triumph of emotions over logic. We all know that the emotions are strong, primitive urges that we can hardly control. You think it’s better to never ask why and spoil what you’re feeling with logical reasoning. It’s funny how the heart can be deceiving and you create picture of what doesn’t even exist in your head. Then it all comes crashing down like a pack of cards. It’s easier to go with the flow, than question it and go against the grain. Most times the other person isn’t even what you want in a partner but you make excuses for them and go on anyway. This is why we end up getting hurt.


Loneliness is one of the most common reasons people fall in love. You will your heart to fall in love and manufacture an emotion that is not there. You see ‘ happy couples’ and you long for the same. Well, the easiest thing to do is to fall for the next person that comes along. You turn a blind eye to the other persons  faulty lines , qualities and forge ahead. After all, you can’t continue to spend night after night cuddling your pillow even though you have the biggest teddy bear in the world.. The human need for companionship is basic. You want a warm, living, breathing body to hold you and listen to you. People who fall in love with this type of reason are usually clingy, overtly emotional and jealous to a fault. Being lonely and being alone are two different state. I pray you receive sense to decipher and to whom brain is given……….(you can complete it)

Pressure is another reason people fall in love. Pressure from their peers , from family and mild pressure from seeing people who are “ happily in love”. Some of us have heard about this ‘love’ all our lives and we want to experience it for ourselves. Especially in this part of the world where being married is synonymous to having a badge of special honor and recognition.  Irrespective of how successful you are as a person, the pressure of marriage is always there enforce by all and sundry. It’s a quire mine that needs addressing seriously. The belief that you are never a complete human being except you have someone to share your life with is archaic in perception and thinking. Don’t let anyone pressurized you into making costly decision, you will face the music alone after they have ate your jollof rice.

Loving out of pity is another common one. Someone has been on your neck for months, years perhaps so you thought if someone could be on your case for this month, he deserve something from you. Out of pity you starts to manufacture a feeling for him/her.  The other person pressures you into ‘falling in love’. Thing with this kind of love is your heart actually finds a way to believe it’s real when it is not. Even when both your personality and belief are not in sync in whatever way, you always thought love will grow over time. My brother and sister I am praying for you already

Physical Attraction:  because you are swoon by his/her smooth skin and physical features is not equal to love. You will surprise how many people are in this type of vain type of relationship.  Tallness, a sonorous voice like a kiwi, body posture and structure like the liberty statue and curves that had head swaying are some criteria’s that some use to determine the level of their love gauge. Its true some guys and ladies are really attractive, just looking at them you definitely has Goosebumps all over and your heart skips a beat by the milliseconds.  I know a lady who falls in love with a guy because he/she is sinfully handsome or sexually slaying, have a good dress sense, even though the person is jobless, treat you like trash , yet you still stuck with that person like a leech and you call that love. Sorry is your case, you need laying of hand, leg and feet.



Sexual Appeal. I know a lady who fall in love with a guy because he is sinfully handsome, have a good dress sense,  knows how to work  his third leg well even though the guy character and belief system need serious questioning.  What happens when the third leg is no more functioning as before or the facial feautures you so much adore got fixed in a good way?  It’s so disheartening and a product of vain reasoning about such kind of people. How about a guy that is cray cray over a lady because she has a big rounded front yard and backyard, however this is another matter of discussion in entirety.

Financial reward is another reasons people claim to be in love, the sole mantra of the recipient of this kind of love lifestyle is that afterall  its is cool to cry in a limousine than laughing on a bicycle. The aristos of this life in different shades and confusing colors are the major culprit of this kind of relationship. They are always after what they can get out of each other and nothing more.. Immediately the cash flow start showing some signs of complicities dwindling, they took their flight like an early bird  and unto their next victim like a parasite.

Other sensible, crazy and  ridiculous reasons are; Family pedigree, Social status, Intelligence , Social status Or Because he/she buys you recharge charge

Nothing would have been wrong with these kinds “ love”  if they didn’t leave the person with a castoff version of love or  nursing broken hearts with thread and needle..

It’s easy to confuse longings, attraction, infatuation, obsession and even lust with love. They are not the real thing, only fake versions of it. If so, then what is love?

Personally I don’t believe in the term “falling in love”, for me it connotes a sense and perception of emotional helplessness which is not good.  Love runs deep than what we think .It is not a feeling, as feelings are temporary as Love is a decision. If it has to end soon, then it is not love

Anger, happiness, excitement, butterflies in tummies are all feelings which fickle and fizzle out over time.

If it has to end, then it is not love. Love is a conscious decision to stay with that person, no matter what. Note that I said decision and not feeling, Love is holding on, when you have all the reasons to let go. A prime example is God’s love for man. Love exist primarily in two forms; the parasitic level and the symbiotic level

Love is holding on, when you have all the reasons to let go – selflessness (Not in the case of physical, emotional or sexual abuse though)

For God so love the world that He gave. Litmus test for true love – are you in love with this person because of what you can get or what you can give?

That is love.

Every Blessings,

TheDreamLodger 2016. All Rights Reserved



5 thoughts on “Why are you in Love?

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