Guilt Tripping 

One of the funniest experiences you would ever have is watch my Mummy pray for her children or lead a prayer session for them.You will laugh till you cry.

We often suppressed bouts of laughter during morning devotions and fully expressed them, thereafter.
On one of those days, the woman decided to face me.
With her “harsh and bass” voice as my sister Gege would call it, she outlined the prayer point.
“Let us pray for Confi. That she will realise that God has blessed her in this world, and she is busy making a mockery of herself, and she is busy wearing tattered clothes.”
Na so we laugh taya!
But, Mummy was right.
There was a time in my life when I gradually became guilt-tripped for being too successful.
I was winning all the competitions in high school and hearing my name being repeatedly mentioned on TV and radio.
I basked in those moments.
But there were down-sides to them.
I heard the following comments all too often.
“We have heard! You won the competition. So what?”
“Ehen? We heard your name on the radio. So we should run away for you?”
“Biko, you are not even that intelligent. If I read as much as you do, you won’t even see my back.”
“You are proud and arrogant. What are you even feeling like, sef?
And this one:
“Who are you even trying to intimidate?”
Men and Brethren, na so I see am ooh.
So, I began to feel guilty of… well, succeeding.
I would knowingly write wrong answers during class tests to please a few friends.
I wouldn’t buy beautiful clothes, just the ones Mummy called “Nkikara na Oyooyo”.
I would often feel unwilling to make intelligent contributions to discussions, so as not to “intimidate people”.
I want to believe that a good deal of young people can relate to this.
You genuinely decide to share a testimony at the Youths’ Summit, of how the Lord granted you an admission with an all expense paid scholarship in Havard and the squeezed faces in the congregation cannot be hidden.
Your friends suddenly stop talking to you, and you’re like:
“Hian! Wetin I do?”
You meet a few folks discussing relationships and marriage and you decide to drop your two cents on the matter. So, you open your mouth to say you are a virgin at 25 and suddenly, you are judging them.
The emotional blackmail begins:
“Virginity without character won’t make a good marriage.”
“You may be a virgin, but is your heart pure?”
“Abeg, make we hear word. It is hungrying you and you’re just pretending.”
“Who cares?”
And so on and so forth.
What you should understand about this is that lots of people are not happy with their lives.
They wish they could be better.
They wish they could clean up their pasts..
They wish they were like you.
What they genuinely need is to be at peace with themselves, to realise that they cannot undo their pasts, but that under God, the past cannot destroy the future.
There is absolutely no need for the insecurity and low self-esteem that birth the emotional blackmail all too readily dished out when someone who appears to have it all together comes to the scene.
You need to understand that too.
hat you do not have to apologise for being smart, beautiful, holy, blessed, a virgin or married to a godly spouse.
That making an intelligent contribution to a discussion does not amount to flaunting anything.
That wearing your beautiful clothes is anything but arrogance.
Need I say that my Mummy’s prayer worked?
Yes, ke!
So one day came to a realisation that I was doing myself an appalling disservice by attempting to please folks suffering from Chronic Inferiority Complex Syndrome (CICS).
So, I learnt to value myself aright.
Bo pride or arrogance, of course; still humble like Christ, but valuing myself aright!
So, when you celebrate your wonderful husband or wife on your social media page, don’t you be put down by folks who say:
“Pretenders! Who knows what is going on in their bedroom?”
Gbachie ha nkiti! (Don’t listen to them!)
God heard Mummy’s hilarious prayer.
That is why I unapologetically remain who I am: ME!
I am a Christian.
I am a Doctor.
I am a Scientist.
I am a Writer.
I am a Violinist.
I  am a Pianist.
I am married to a godly, loving Husband.
I am submissive to him.
By the grace of God, I am what I am.
I am Uju Confy Okorie.
So, who are you?
Every Blessing! 

Source: Uju’s Musing



7 thoughts on “Guilt Tripping 

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