This Huggings Business

So when Adaeze of Emporium of WORDS sent me a mail sometimes ago to appear on her blog as a guest writer. It was a big surprise and a challenge because I had actually decides not post anything till February.

I couldn’t say no,  so I had to storm by writing archives.

So here we are.  Thank so much Adaeze, you know you are darling right?

Hi you reading this piece, hope you had a lovely week?

You see Knowing when to hug someone is a question that has plagued humanity since its very inception. Misplaced hugs can cause such social awkwardness towards the other person. It is true we pick up the essence of a person when body meets in embrace. It’s one of the area of greeting I believe, just as the Eskimos love rubbing each other nose. Despite thousands of years of struggling with hug protocol, scientists have yet to unlock its deepest most powerful mysteries.

For one I believe Hugging is an art.

While society has guidelines set in place to define it, some of the best huggers/ hugging artists are all about breaking through barriers and thinking outside of the box. I don’t believe there is a written code somewhere that dictates the dos and don’ts of hugging.

It’s not always evident when the best time for a hug is and, occasionally, you have to make a leap of blind faith. Understanding this first aspect will help to allays hugging fears

Things have changed a lot in the current dispensation, though, and hugging, like any skill, diminishes without practice.

It is important to surround yourself with top tier huggers to keep you sharp.

I once knew a man that hugged down a near homicidal maniac. But the best I could hope for today is an awkward embrace from a distant family member at the next funeral. As we get older, more awkward and bitter, many of us simply stop hugging.

Luckily, the fundamental knowledge has yet to abandon me and that information came into play oftentimes.

Amateur huggers, who aren’t confident in themselves or their abilities (everyone has the talent, but just like the parable of the talent; some decides to sow it and others didn’t).

There seems to occupy their mind three questions: I will probably try to answer these queries to my best ability.

*Doing press up*

  1. What if it feels like we are about to kiss?”                                    

From personal  observation, ladies are super professional in the hugging department. Many guys avoid hugging partly because of their wives/girlfriends/ fiancée stance. How is he to explain a lady’s perfume on this cloth or a lipstick stain that stick across his shirt or collar.

In a bid to avoid conflicts, both sexes avoid it all together. Some are of the opinion why should  opposite sex  hugs especially if they are not into intimate relationship? Many wives had monopolizes men’s social interaction including their hugging life. Permission must be taken and granted before hugging anyone I guess.

Oh don’t let me dive into the issue of bad mouth odor, that’s another case.

2. “How aware should I be of how close our genitals are to each other?”

This is a tough one. Many can imagine that awkward feeling and reactions. Well I  would say you  shouldnt or ought to be too conscious of that aspect except you have is pervert mind.

I understand there is likely to be some level of awkwardness especially someone who hugged so tight almost pressing your bosom so much it hurts. I would advise the sisters/ladies to stylishly withdraw the embrace to prevent suffocation though.

Some brothers are terrible hugger, y’all need to learn yo!

3. “Is smelling them okay?”

before I answer that, let me place a caveat here: please and please, never hug a sweaty person.

 And if you are allergic to fluid, run faster than Tom of Tom and Jerry Cartoons. Some people smell really bad, I’m saying this from experience o (you have to mentally switch of your nose nodes, so the huggee won’t feel embarrassed),

Imagine when the pastor announced in a typical church setting that everyone should raise up their hands in worship and praise, don’t be surprised to see people physically falling down. Mind you its not the anointing o, The powerful catastrophic anointed odor emanating from some armpits is enough to generate ample *anointing* to make people fall down in one accord.

However Hugging some people however is truly refreshing ( you just deliberately hug longer, hugging such person is  life giving and life transforming)

I have this strong believe that husband and wife should hug more often. There is something about hugging that transcends the physicality of bodies touching each other- it goes deep down the soul and refreshes both the hugger and the hugged. I have discovered that people don’t hug much especially parents. The ratio of children hugging their parents is nil to nil. Hugging create a bond of trust and assurance that’s unparallel. Sometimes all some children needs is an assurance hugs. Let it hold on for at least a minutes and you will see the sparkles in the eyes of your significant others.

Another aspect of hugging is cuddling. It’s erroneous to believe that only the female species are prone to like hugging and cuddling, far from that. The truth is the male species have been trained and brought up not to show emotions. No wonder the frustration many husbands internalize because they can’t handle the humiliation of their wives having an inkling idea of them behaving less of a man!  Recently I heard a conflict that ensues with a married couple. After the do, the husband always loves to cuddle but the wife will have none of that.  To salvage their marriage, they visited a marriage counselor and therapist who discovered this and informs his wife accordingly. She was shocked and thanks fully their marriage was restored. I think I have been able to mention some benefits of hugging here.

So Have you any good/bad hugging experience, we love to hear from you in the comment box.

Every Blessings,


Your Comments  and Likes bring out the beauty of this blogs. Feel free to share your thoughts

The Dream Lodge


11 thoughts on “This Huggings Business

  1. Abisolar (@Sisterbisi) says:

    You are right. We need to hug more.
    Hug can calm fears, reassure, strengthen bond, show love, show relief etc.
    I think some of the opposite sex take advantage of what should be a simple hug which is why some people avoid it altogether. My colleague came back to work after the Yuletide and I was so happy to see him and hugged him. It was spontaneous and short. For other people who try to force me into hugs, I have perfected the side hug.
    I need to hug my mum more , for no reason except that I feel like hugging her, or showing my love.
    Not just when I am happy with her or when she gives me money or does something sweet. Sometimes I feel like hugging my dad but he isn’t the hugging type. He will probably give me a look like ” hope all is well”?lol.

    Great blog. I will be back for sure.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. whitneyibeblog says:

    This is well tailored. I think hugs are more warming than a handshake but a lot of people in my country will offer a handshake rather than a hug. Our parents while growing up made hugging look so immoral and so many have this bias mind towards it. Even in the church we still can’t hug our brothers and sisters. We can only hope it gets better with time

    Liked by 3 people

  3. boundlessblessingsblog says:

    I totally agree with your hugging post and simply loved each and every word. It is so good and feels good too to hug people in just a friendly and warm way whether it be a man or a woman. But as you rightly said we have become an alien race and have become unloved so when someone comes to hug you or say some soothing words we feel that something is wrong with this person, has he gone mad or what. Today in our life we require hugging a lot. Great post Immanuel.

    Liked by 1 person

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